Professional badass Ashley Marie was born several years ago in Buffalo, New York. Out of all the things she enjoys, sexual innuendo and inappropriate jokes, awkward situations, dogs in sweaters, sloths, and scotch rank the highest. The things she loathes are ants, street grates, weird shadows, to-do lists, and obnoxious drunk girls. Ashley is an outgoing introvert who is fluent in sarcasm, occasionally pretentious, slightly neurotic, usually creepy, and definitely crazy. She has also become rather misanthropic since moving off to college—which she hates—and tends to be a recluse, where she sits in her dorm on her computer, blogging and watching Netflix. Her lifelong goals since 2006 are to work at CNN as an anchor, where she will frequently feel Anderson Cooper’s biceps, and to stop referring to herself in the third person. After living in NYC for a couple years, she currently resides in Buffalo as a news intern but spends most of her time in the dampest basement in Beaver, where she dances under a variety of names. CBS cares.
