watching spongebob and waiting for my porn to load lolol txt it~

(Source: differentplanet, via ashesofwinterfell)

(via ashesofwinterfell)

God you guys should really do this before I shut down for the night and go read. 

•  A - If I'm in love.
•  B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.
•  C - How long it's been since I've kissed someone
•  D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.
•  E - How many holes I have in my ears.
•  F - Give me any options, like 'hot or cold?'
•  G - The last person I said 'I love you' to.
•  H - The last person I hugged.
•  I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.
•  J - How old I am.
•  K- What my full name is.
•  L - If I have siblings.
•  M - If I forgive betrayal.
•  N - If you want to know how I treat my friends.
•  O - If I like my school.
•  P - What kind of music I like.
•  Q - What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.
•  R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.
•  S - 2 habits.
•  T- 5 things I love unconditionally.
•  U - How many texts I send daily.
•  V - 3 big dreams.
•  W - An idol.
•  X - If I've done something I regret very much.
•  Y - If I like my town and why.
•  Z - Ask any question you want.
•  please dear god send me some asks

pizzaforpresident:

1612th:

the president doesnt deserve any fucking pizza

wow if i could go back in time i would put this as my senior quote

(Source: robot-skeleton-army, via cowgirltits)

everydayoctopus:

#I bet he’s having a whole internal conversation with that torch.#Hello torch. I’m Matt. #It’s a pleasure to meet you on this fine day! It is fine #Isn’t it? #Oh thank you torch! You’re looking pretty splendidly dapper as well! #You’re my new friend you know that? #I’m going to call you Georgie #You and me Georgie#We’re gonna run this together #And when we get there I’m going to buy you a drink #AHHH Got you! You can’t drink! You’re a torch #Oh you’re so funny Georgie

And the torch is just screaming, “YOU’RE NOT TENNANT.”

(Source: missksyu, via two-hearts-one-soul)

(Source: catelynstarking, via athistlesifter)

heatburg:

David Mitchell, I love you.

(Source: sarahxmay, via walrusofcondemnation)

scullster:

craig ferguson’s fucking face deserves its own kind of censor tbh

#CHRIST #like #your face is so suggestive idek why it is allowed on television??? #IT ALWAYS LOOKS DIRTY??? #im all out of faith this ishow i feel im cold and i am shamed LYING NAKED ON THE FLOOR

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Thank you, god, for making me an atheist.

Professional badass Ashley Marie was born several years ago in Buffalo, New York. Out of all the things she enjoys, sexual innuendo and inappropriate jokes, awkward situations, dogs in sweaters, sloths, and scotch rank the highest. The things she loathes are ants, street grates, weird shadows, to-do lists, and obnoxious drunk girls. Ashley is an outgoing introvert who is fluent in sarcasm, occasionally pretentious, slightly neurotic, usually creepy, and definitely crazy. Her lifelong goals since 2006 are to work at CNN as an anchor, where she will frequently feel Anderson Cooper’s biceps, and to stop referring to herself in the third person. After living in NYC for a couple years, she currently resides in Buffalo as a news intern and editorial editor but spends most of her time in the dampest basement in Beaver, where she dances under a variety of names. CBS cares.

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT WETBISCUITMCGLEE:

"you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want to set your genitals on fire" --scullster

"corrupting cunt who'd love nothing more than to fuck her professors" --jessthecoconut

SLYTHERIN
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